"If you bring
forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you
do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth
will destroy you." - The Gnostic Gospel of Thomas
I ran across this
maxim in Robert Aitken's book The Mind of Clover, and
was immediately struck by it. It reminds us that if you do not act
according to a conscious dynamic, you will invariably act according
to an unconscious dynamic. Repression is truly dangerous because it
implies a refusal of knowledge, which leaves us subject to all kinds
of negative forces inherited from our personal and collective pasts.
I
have a certain interest in dreams, and often in discussing them, I
run across the opinion that they're just meaningless garbage spewed
forth by the sleeping brain, a sort of psychological excretion. I can
understand this viewpoint, but in the same way that biological feces
can reveal a great deal about an individual's health and diet, so too
are our dreams composed of material rich with meaning. After all,
nothing in a dream is accidental. Unlike the waking world, every
detail of our dreamscapes is generated by our own minds. To dismiss
them as meaningless is to ignore the subtle promptings of our
unconscious, which desires ultimate union with the universe.
One
time years ago, I was arguing just this point with someone, a young
man who almost violently rejected the notion that his dreams were
meaningful. "I have dreams about sharks a lot," he said to
me in challenge. "I'll be in the ocean, or in a swimming pool,
and I'll know there's a shark coming for me, and it scares the hell
out of me. I've never even seen a
shark outside of an aquarium. What does that mean?"
And
I had to stop myself from chuckling, because his dream was so to the
point. In dreams, water invariably signifies the unconscious, and
living creatures within the water indicate hidden or emerging
impulses. Thus a whale might indicate a significant impending
transformation or need for it, or perhaps repressed experiences
coming to the surface. A shark, on the other hand, indicates
precisely a fear of
the unconscious, the belief that if he were to give his unconscious
doubts about his life free rein, it would precipitate a painful
transformation. So the very example he gave as evidence his dreams
were meaningless showed instead his fear that his dreams were
meaningful, and the depth of that trepidation was in exact proportion
to the need to acknowledge these inner impulses.
This
is also the dark side of many religions (and this person was
religious). By acceding their beliefs to an external dogma inherited
from past generations, and amputating their own natural curiosity,
believers fail to recognize the real reasons behind their behaviors,
and thus open themselves to all kinds of harmful impulses. Often they
lead double lives, one day an upright churchgoer, the next a
dissolute drunk.
Even
when the offenses appear minor, there remains a cognitive dissonance
between their religious and secular lives. Many religious followers
find no problem liking, say, both a sermon and a football game; but
in fact these two activities are worlds apart, the viewpoints
inherent in them separated by enormous chasms of time, geography,
economics and history. What relationship, after all, does a Biblical
text handed down from a Middle Eastern tribe thousands of years ago
have with a twentieth-century sporting event viewed on an LCD
television? Virtually none, of course, but even so they coexist in
the minds of their followers, the tension between them
unacknowledged, its pressure building and building like water behind
a poorly built dam. How long before cracks appear? How long before it
bursts? Better by far to let the river flow free.
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